The ‘God-Awful’ Grateful Dead Song Phil Lesh Says He Can’t Even Listen To

Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh is credited as a songwriter on a little over 20 Grateful Dead originals. A few of those songs never actually made it to a live stage reading, while some such as “Box of Rain,” “Truckin'” or “St. Stephen” were played hundreds of times by the band.

There were others that briefly made it in the band’s rotation, such as “Alligator” (played 65 times), “If The Shoe Fits” (17 times), “New Potato Caboose” (33 times), and others of varying popularity.

But there is one song that the bassist seems like he wishes he could uninvent: “No Left Turn Unstoned” which is also known as “Cardboard Cowboy” and “The Monster.” Lesh included a recording of “Cardboard Cowboy” on the bonus CD compiled as a companion to his 2005 memoir, Searching For The Sound.

“This song here is one of the first originals that we wrote, or that actually I wrote, because I wrote the words and the music,” Lesh said. “This is known as ‘Cardboard Cowboy’ but it actually was called ‘The Monster,’ and I’m not sure why we called it that except maybe it was just so big and ugly and hard to play.”

Lesh was asked about the song by Blair Jackson for the Spring 1994 issue of Dupree’s Diamond News.

“It was a truly awful song I wrote for the Grateful Dead during the Matrix era – I think it was ’67, maybe ’68,” Lesh recalled. “It’s on a couple of tapes I think. It’s so god-awful I can’t even listen to it to find out what it was like.”

One of the two live performances is captured on the The Grateful Dead: 50th Anniversary Edition, you can have a listen below.

Before this rendition he band spoke about one of the songs many names. Special shoutout to the incredible Grateful Dead fan sites Whitegum and JerryBase for this transcription and other stats and notes used in this article.

Weir: OK, we’re gonna do a song now, the title of the song is “No Left Turn Unstoned”

Lesh: That’s an anagram, or is it a calliope?

Weir: A spoonerism

Lesh: A spoonerism, that’s it

Weir: It’s certainly frivolous

Garcia: A palindrome, that’s it

The song’s alternate title, “No Left Turn Unstoned,” was inspired by a sign at the home of author and friend of the Grateful Dead, Ken Kesey. Curiously, Phish would also use this frivolous spoonerism in the outro chorus of their song “NICU” three decades later.

Phil Lesh next takes the stage for a run of five shows at the Capitol Theater in Port Chester. While Phil is known for busting out tons of rarities not frequently played by the Grateful Dead, something tells me we should not be holding our breath for “Cardboard Cowboy” next month, but you never know with these guys.

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[Compiled by Team JamBase.]