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samm (:'s Journal

tearing at the invisible cloth of insanity
the sun has risen to it's highest extent, but still she lay there in solitude. thrown on the floor sulking for her mistakes that have higher dues than she knew. the sun cannot unrise, you see. the rays cannot be stolen from the skin of those who seek warmth. You see, the sun cannot unrise because we will not forget that it has risen. she has laid her future down with sticks and stones that she's managed to pull from the sides of the trail but where are the bodies of life helping her lay her path? there are no hands brushing hers. she is alone. you see, a sun cannot rise without the help of the falling moon. you see, a girl can have no future if there's no one beside her. . 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Sat 11/20/2010 10:31 AM
Time to let it grow
Press to the ground by the feet of a careless hiker, the grass will rise again. Maybe it will not rise right away, but it will soon enough. It cannot be held down against it's own will for much longer than the sun can stop shining because the moon wants to take over. An open door stands in front of the wilted grass. The lock touching the frame, but not keeping out the visitors. Wandering minds can find themselves pushing it open to see the character on the wood floor, the ash in the fireplace and the care that had been instilled in it. Never mind the crumpled writings on the floor, or the unmade bed. Look on to what it has to offer. And there on the table will read a note, "I've left this beauty to the next person who will care for it like i did. It's beauty is not easy to give away, but I've had it for far too long that my neglect will only get worse for it. Cherish it for all that it's worth because it's value is more than life on earth" When the snow falls in the winter and the leaves are blown into a whiplash of gorgeous grace flowing in the sky, following one another, during the autumn cold, let yourself notice. Be that wandering mind that is curious and take yourself to that abandoned house that stands the test of time. Take a picture if needed so you can remember that moment of pure poise and graciousness that nature has to offer. Everyday is another chance to make it into something great, you just need to take the time to let it grow on you. 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Sat 11/20/2010 10:30 AM
hide me
the tears swell in her eyes as she stares at the dying grass. Sounds of passing cars awake her from trance. as she brushes the tear from her cheek, she looks to her arms. Goose bumps pronounce from her skin. the friction of her hands rubbing on her skin keeps her mind occupied. blowing slightly, the wind pushes her hair onto her wet cheek. A bee searches the grass for any flower, any at all, to suck the sweet nectar out of. Closing her eyes, she takes a breath and thinks to herself "i just don't know anymore" Her face is pale. Her lips are dry. Hiding her face within her hands, she lets one more tear go before she pulls herself up to climb the mountain she's about to trudge up. Dying grass, starving bees, and tears falling from a young girls' eyes. People say the world is full of beauty but yet all i see is the pain that's trapped within it. 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Sat 11/20/2010 10:30 AM
failed ambition
the hand of the clock, dangling from his mirror, circles the ink formed characters. his breath is warm against the window. he's been waiting for what seems like forever now. uneasy from a shiver, he reaches for the heater, forgetting that it broke last winter. his eyes are blood shot. sleep has not caught up with him. he's been runnning high for quite some time. the moments of having the motivation to do anything in the world were leveled by the paranoid thoughts of failing. he caught his breath. what to do? the tank is running on empty as city lights sparkle off his iced windshield. driving allows him to breath, who knows how many lines he would have seen disappear through the noses of him and others. the thought about that white powder made him go crazy. the feeling was so pure, so intense he needed to remember not to close his eyes so the cop in front doesn't notice another fuck up. what to do? silence rings in his ears after turning onto a quite street. rudely awakening his mind, his paranoid thoughts surfaced once again. your constant twitch and running nose are going to get you caught. clean up your act. yah yah, no problem. ill start right now. i can quit this time. i still have days. ya ya, no problem... . 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Sat 11/20/2010 10:29 AM
swallow your pride and close the door to your past
the vibrating plastic against her bedside table echoed in her head. reaching for her phone she struggles to keep the whites of her eyes visible. slowly a smile comes to her face, accompanied by a more alertness. soon his footsteps were tip toeing their way down the stairs, to the couch where she slept. holding out his hand, he asks her to his bedroom. hesitation hits her. he's not yours, he's hers. moments of silence pass before she asks him, "what about her...?" he raises his finger to his mouth, holding it to his puckered lips. quiet. secrets. lies. he lead the way across the cold laminated floor. im just a little confused on what to do. lit candles reflect light upon the gray walls. such a solemn place fits him, she thinks. she entered underneath the covers, putting her feet first. test the water. a sway is good, but don't let it ravage you. his callased fingers run across her smooth skin. he traces the tattoos across her body, leading to her face. with eyes locked, he kisses her. "what about her...?" she says once more. his fingers stop, he huffs and says "i love you, i want to be with you tonight." she needs nothing more to be said. a drip of salt and water falls to the pillow, caught by her hair. im just a little hurt from your words. as a new song plays from his audio device, he turns her to himself and begins a mistake that can't be taken back. his lips touch hers. locked for a moment she breathes in. her hand reaches to his arms, gripping tight. the feel has been gone for so long. subtle whispers could be heard over the low music. grasped sheets, sudden gasps and entwined fingers. bits and pieces of something that never happened. im just a little confused on what to do. the bathroom light slips through the cracked door. she's looking at her pillow. the door shutting was like a gun going off for a race out of by one her clothes appeared on her body, wrinkled and unfashionable, but never the less covering her skin he had just put his hands all over. the bathroom door shuts, followed by footsteps and a hand turning the cold metal knob.he takes one look at her knowing they've just committed one of the biggest sins of their lives. he walks towards his bed as she heads for the door. neither looked back. . 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Sat 11/20/2010 10:27 AM