msd413886669's JamBase Profile Photo

msd413886669's Journal

"Scream Phoenix"
So I stand aside for a second and review the past three months. My life hasn't gone in the direction I placed it. I'm struggling daily to meditate or obtain some form of clarity. I have put the crutches down, and I'm bout to pick em back up. It's a nerve wrecking adventure on a daily. The truth waits within. As soon as I close my mouth long enough, I unveil the reality fluently. But this reality sometimes makes me stand back to succumb to the treachery that remains constant. Thinking of departure from the present location, is only leading to more complexion. This journey is predetermined. The Lord is the architect and I need to accept that the struggle is only what I am suppose to get through in order to appreciate life and create the necessary changes naturally. One day time will catch up and I will be focused on the present instead of dreaming of future possibility. For now I'll just inhale and wait for the moment of calming enlightenment.
0 Comments :: Permalink :: Fri 4/11/2008 12:41 PM
Smooth Stance

I trickle the day away
On soft sweet reprise
My life seems to slow down
Yet hold strong on course
I have joy fluidly tracing my veins
In constant exploration of new ways
True clarity from strife
Is now the conductor
Of the rythm in my life
To a new day I gaze upon
So true with the valor of hope
That it will carry true and true
Thankfulness onto the Lord
My shepard of guiding light
I sing praise through my existence
And pray for the continuation at night
Never would I have thought
The day would truly come
And bring with all these angels
The friendship with bondage hath aborn
My happiness goes not unnoticed
And I'm aware that this is true
Yet I have no fear of showing
The feelings they must spue
I worry not for who feels burden
Or jolted by this reality
I only move forward with my approach
For only God can judge me 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Fri 4/11/2008 12:39 PM
The Bewildering Thoughts Within
I have stepped forward too many times to deny my efforts, yet many persist in doing so. I feel like I could push harder, but it only hurts more when I try. For now I try to allow things to flow naturally. Even if I end up with nothing in the end I will still be in the same place as the richest man. Craving my admittance to the next chapter. How bleak this journey has become. Such emptiness binding the thought process. This has hindered my efforts, yet I push on. No understanding of what will come, and complacency has conquered all. Time to relax and let time unfold the truth. 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Fri 4/11/2008 12:38 PM
Gorgeous Loneliness
My heart swallows the sorrow of lustful action with empty possibility of future. Why do I allow myself to get into a situation that may jeopardize my emotions at a future point in time. This is scaring me on some level. However I feel like this is a delightful treat that was long awaited. I enjoy its enticing presence immensely. I smell the flowers of delight blooming. The harsh side is that this beautiful opportunity has thorns on its roots. Tempting and warning are both its energy. I must maintain caution while riding these waves of sweet exploration. For my heart knows the beauty of standing alone, and must respond to this opening with minimal reluctance. For now I tread lightly. 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Fri 4/11/2008 12:36 PM
Running in Neutral
Sitting on the sidelines. I'm standing by. Waiting for the architect to guide my soul. This structure has no more control. I'm cleansing my impurities to form a new belief of how I can view my actions. My tyranny has to be relinquished. Not gonna allow this vehicle to breakdown. It has too much knowledge of how things are and what they should be like. Trying to make these changes is the quest at hand. Time to display purity not negativity. 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Fri 4/11/2008 12:33 PM
I've stepped back. For the thoughts began to sing louder. I could no longer ignore their insight. I have chosen to breathe deeper. No clouds to obscure my thoughts. I must avoid this constant combat. No need to allow anger to be reborn. My energy has wisdom and I cannot discard the message. Please succeed. Please be free. Do not allow hatred to dwell. My opinion is important, not just words. This is a two way street, not your road with me as the dividing lines, for you to cross lanes as you please. I pave my future, and you may be in it but you do not conduct it. I once was victim to a powerful enticement. I will not allow you to become the next. This is my life. My one chance. Wipe the slate clean. It's time to begin. 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Fri 4/11/2008 12:25 PM
Growth Spurts

Coasting through the present time. The clouds are beginning to soften my descent towards a new path of existence. This clean air is sweet on the inhale. Like rain we pass our energy through the pores of all to be affected. Some reluctance forming on how to approach the new route with no map. It's very enticing and alarming in one. Calmly I spread my wings and take flight. I only can become what I allow. The day awakens desire and then night breathes life. The hunger is growing and the submission is dying. No fear for the result. The clasps have snapped and the chain is broken. Nothing can stop me but the demon inside, and I believe I have dismissed his relentless impudence. The Phoenix Is Born. 0 Comments :: Permalink :: Fri 4/11/2008 12:22 PM