Guttermouth
Guttermouth God loves little Children, Combat Medics, Retarded people...and Guttermouth. Throughout the course of their Lives the members of Guttermouth have respectively survived a myriad of the most heinous of messed up ailments that biology can inflict upon one group of Punk Rock Miscreants: a drunk driving incident where a telephone pole fell upon a member and crushed his spleen, lungs, chest, and broke both femurs (Mark); a bout with Necrotizing fasciitis (fleash eating Streptococcus) which almost claimed a member's lower leg and life (Mark, and Kevin); an infected Abcess of the tonsils, the disease that killed George Washington (Ryan); Recurent Anaphylaxia from an unknown allergen that continues to plague him to this day (Ryan); Strabismus, (commonly known as lazy eye) a condition where the eyes are typically not aligned with each other causing incurable vertigo (Don); Cytopenia: A condition where blood flow to the lower extremitiies is constricted to the point of Paresthesia (numb legs * Scott) and Alcoholism, a condition where too many Newcastle brown ales cause you to hit on ugly fat girls and listen to "The Cult" on your Ipod at 4:30 in the morning while your roomate is trying to sleep (Kevin); However, Throughout all of these hardships Guttermouth are still alive...and still dying...slowly...but rest assured Gutttermouth may just overcome these desperate ailments to bring a show to you...Guttermouth will persevere. Nay...Guttermouth will CONQUER THESE HARDSHIPS! THEY WILL OVERCOME THESE TERRIBLE AFFLICTIONS THAT NATURE HAS BESET UPON THEM, THEY WILL OVERCOME THE RIDICULOUS IDEA THAT THEY ARE SPECIAL JUST BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN KINDA SICK SOMETIMES...GUTTERMOUTH WILL PREVAIL OVER ALL, BECAUSE...BECAUSE...because it's better than getting a real job.