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Playing wise I felt no difference except for possibly, some things where you just realize that he's playing great, and you go, "Hey it's not just a great night, this could be... you know... this could be the last great night." But he was playing his heart out till the last minute and he was really on. And then there'd be some tunes... and a couple times I remember him getting a little choked up, or maybe a microphone wasn't working, who knows, but then I'd be singing it by myself and go, "Wow, this is about to happen just like this anyway." We knew the possibilities.
-John Bell on Houser's Last Days |
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Now obviously there are times when the music is really clicking and firing on all cylinders, and there are times when it's not as much. What kinds of conditions allow you to maximize those opportunities?
John Bell :: Halloween '03 MSG
By Michael Weintrob |
Well, you can be at the mercy of a really bad-sounding room, and nothing is going to help that. And the bottom line is you're not able to hear. It's like trying to have a meaningful conversation in a huge crowd. But when things are sounding good and everybody is listening - and it comes on different levels. It's like everybody is kind of responsible for their own state of awareness and their state of reaction and playing and their contribution and their own awareness or perception of how the rest of the band is getting in on that thing, so it's really an interplay. There's reality and illusion happening the whole time, and if your illusion has brought you to a point that your reality is like, "Hey we're all together," then for you at that moment, that's real.
I mean it's not like everybody did the Mayan thing and "Poof," just gone. And we've gotten off stage where one guy thinks, "God, that was a fantastic night!" and somebody else will say, "You know, I was struggling all night." And it's kinda like, that's sorta the way it goes - in life too. Everybody is sporting their own personal perception.
Sure. I'm hesitant to suggest that you would, but do you feel any sort of added pressure now, as the band leader? I hate to say that you are the leader, but you kinda are. Do you feel any added pressure to sort of push this baby?
No, not at all. I put pressure on myself to be a viable member of the band and an equal member of the band. And leadership - I think if that perception is imposed or present, that's more because I'm in that traditional role of standing in the middle and doing vocals. But there is nothing that goes down that's not a democratic process. And 99% of the time, we move unanimously.
And how about in your guitar playing. Have you made an effort, not even right now, but since Mikey died, have you made an effort to be more vocal with your guitar, or is it just the same - going after it?
John Bell :: 1999
By M. Sheehan |
Pretty much the same, but with some adjustments.
It sounds to me a little bit like, I don't know if it's a volume issue or what it is, but I feel like you are in that conversation a little bit more prominently than you had been. Just in the guitar aspect, I hear you soloing a little bit more here and there and stuff like that, which I'm not quite as used to.
I think that always comes whenever I'm inspired, and we're listening. And I'll always be in there, well not always, but a lot of times I'm in there feeding off what George or whatever anybody else is playing, and melodically and rhythmically entwining myself like that. As far as volume goes, a lot of that is up to Chris [Rabold - Sound Engineer].
And we hear it differently than you hear it, I'm sure.
Right. And I have a couple different tones that I use, now I'm up to three configurations instead of, actually I'm up to two configurations instead of one. And then I have my Tube Screamer to give it a little rounded boost if I need it.
Are there any songs that you are playing right now, since the Fox, that you feel are really hot?
John Bell :: 1999 :: By M. Sheehan |
Nah, personally, all the songs are gateways to... I don't wanna use a cliché, but I’m about to - to just feeling the magic. [laughing] Feeling something that is non-describable - where you just go, "Oh wow, good surprise. OK, wow-wow. Don't try to describe it or it will go away. Just ride on it." So all the songs are gateways, and mostly for me it's getting myself back in the mode of being active and receptive in that mode of being able to apply myself in tunes like that.
So take for instance last night [04/08/05], was there a song in particular that you really, after the show were like, "We were hitting on..."
Hmm... most of the new ones are losing some of their awkwardness, if I looked at a setlist, maybe I could pick something out. What sticks with me are usually the damaged areas, where you come back and you really wanna get revenge on those. So when those tunes come up again, you're really ready to play because you want to redeem yourself.
One other thing I was thinking about, and just based on your nature, from what I can tell from our small talk, I don't know if you really view things in this way necessarily, but is there something that you perceive, not even a goal, not something concrete, but is there something you want to see happen with Widespread Panic?
WSP :: Red Rocks 2005 :: By Tony Stack |
Nothing that isn't already happening. There are so many realms: you want to stay viable creatively, you still want to be excited and be on edge while you are playing, those things I want to see happen.
Are you feeling those things right now?
Personally, I'd say I can see it happening, and I have to respect the process. But I'm still more self-aware than when we got off stage after New Year's.
And is that a positive thing for you to be self-aware like that?
Well it is what it is, so I'm gonna roll with it as a positive thing or else I'd be fighting and making a mess of it. And you know, stuff still keeps coming out, and we're still having fun. And that it works harmoniously with our desires as family members too and just out there in general - I'd like it to be a positive thing. That's really important.
Without question. It just seems like it would have been very easy to not come back from the break. I mean, you guys have nothing left to prove, obviously, so I would assume there is some intention behind it. I don't think you would just come back and say, "Hey lets play some fuckin' songs and see what happens." And again, I could be wrong, but it seems like there is a desire, if nothing else, to just make it the best it can be.
Yeah. Well I gotta say it's a real relief to come back because there were things that I took for granted that had been part of my daily life routine for more than half my life. So to go over a year without some of those things, that was... It was fun to have the free time, but there were some things I was missing that I took for granted, and I didn't know I was feeding off those so much. And performing is one of them.
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