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Dear Phish,
You changed everything for me.
Photo by Adam George :: Vegas 2004 |
Phish opened my eyes to the power of live music, and how it can bring people
together with such force that we remain friends forever. Connected through a
common bond, I think many of us felt a sense of initial sadness, loss, reflection
and eventual understanding from the announcement.
It is an evolution from my youth and discovery years, when you helped me to
learn valuable life lessons about surrendering to the flow, to have no regrets,
take care of your shoes and most importantly: that you can feel good... good
about Hood.
For so many of us, music is not just a simple form of entertainment to enhance
our lives. We seek out those peak moments when time stands still and for an
instant, everything is perfect. You opened that door of potential musical perfection
for me - and I will forever be grateful.
I feel fortunate that we had the opportunity to share many beautiful moments
under the lights together, and at the same time am excited for the future. Phish's
legacy will not only live on in memories and recordings, but also in the influence
of what is surely next to come.
Thanks Phish, we enjoyed ourselves...
Peace & Love,
Andy Gadiel
Dear Phish,
Photo by SuperDee :: NYE Miami |
Every time I was in the Phish crowd at a show, my mind became very aware of
the exact moment that I was in. It's the moment that had been anticipated and
the one that will be read about moments later. It is the moment where nothing
else in the world exists and there is absolutely no place I'd rather be. The
music, the lights, the four of you, all of us... It is the ultimate achievement
of "Be Here Now." This realization of the present is what I will miss
the most and, to look on the bright side, I am very grateful and feel fortunate
that I was able to have this feeling at all and hope that I find other ways
to reach this place when you are gone.
You four have been the centerpiece of an amazing journey in the last decade.
Twisting Around you are countless memories, intimate friendships, everlasting
tales and pranks, and, of course, the exquisite music that changed our lives.
Thank you Phish. I love you more than words can say.
Your biggest phan,
SuperDee
p.s. Thank you for the "Icculus" - my one and only birthday wish -
on 7/18/99.
Dear Phish,
Photo by Adam George :: Vegas 2004 |
Like thousands of other people out there, for better or worse, the most defining
personal characteristic for much of my adult life was undoubtedly my love of
your music. My devotion to the band was a badge of honor that I wore proudly
on my sleeve, and it permeated just about every aspect of my life. I was first
introduced to the your music in high school and immediately everything for me
changed. My discovery of Phish at that young age was, in many ways, a discovery
of the person that I wanted to be. You represented something so excitingly new,
open and rife with possibility. In considering Phish's relative role as a catalyst
for my life's transition then, it occurred to me just how much Phish can be
seen as the impetus for so much of what has happened in my short 29 years. I
failed out of college over Phish (spring '94 tour). I met the woman to whom
I now am married at a Phish show. I moved to the west coast because I want to
be near to the ideals that I discovered when I discovered Phish. And I have
a career in the music industry because I wanted to somehow be a part of that
magic that Phish created. I know there are literally thousands of people out
there with similar stories.
And yet it's time now to assess what it means to no longer have Phish as the
soundtrack to our lives. And this is truly hard because Phish means so many
things to so many people. So I guess its best to just leave it at what you have
always represented to me: the importance in life of "going big" -
of being creative, innovative, thoughtful and inspired. I have always felt as
a fan that the most respectful thing that your audience could do is to learn
from the Phish experience, to be inspired by the magic, and to attempt to bring
that force and energy into our own lives. I believe this to be the case today
and that is why when you get down to it, I am bitterly satisfied with the ending
that we have all been given. That world of wonder and possibility that I first
discovered in Phish is here again. The future is wide open, the canvass is endless
and white and each and every one of us gets to write our own next chapter.
With sincere gratitude and respect,
Michael Cirrito
Dear Phish,
Photo by Adam George |
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, I will just say thanks. Thanks
for hitting that place in "Reba" the way you did and all the other
places where goose bumps can be found. Thanks for 8/17/96 Set II: that was awesome.
Thanks for knowing when to call it a day and following through on your instincts
despite all those other reasons to act otherwise. Thanks for making me dance
harder, sweat harder, smile harder, think harder, and laugh harder than anyone
could make me do for the price of one ticket. Thanks for creating that little
space for us front row center where it felt like another world within another
world within the so-called "real world" - that was my favorite place
for so long. Thanks, of course, for the music, but not just your music - for
the music that your music lead me to directly, tangentially, mistakenly, simultaneously,
magically - I love that music, too. Thanks for playing a few more shows so I
can try, at least once, to take the kids so they can tell their kids. Thanks
for all the times you sounded like shit so I truly came to appreciate the nights
you were flawless. Thanks for the times we called for it and you played it,
whether you did it for us or not; for making us feel special and looking in
our eyes when you talked to us. Thanks for Halloween. Thanks for taking me to
parts of this country I never would have thought to go without you dragging
me. Thanks for enough conversation fodder to last many a long evening and for
fucking with our heads like that and those times during "Mike's Song"
way back when, where the smoke got so thick I felt like gravity had ceased to
work on all of us who "got it" and we were collectively stratosphere-bound.
Thanks for all that and for everything else I forgot to thank you for, like
for never compromising your vision even after it all came true... it came true!
Thanks for letting me be there with you to witness it.
Love, from the front row, nevermore,
Aaron Stein
Dear Phish,
Photo by Tony Stack :: Summer 2003 |
I would like to express my gratitude for all of the incredible experiences
that I have had through Phish. I treasure the memories of summer road trips
and holiday runs, to places far and near. From roughing it in tents to the penthouse
at the Ritz, Phish has truly shown me an admirable lifestyle. The greatest gift
given to me by Phish is the ability to forget about daily nuances and enjoy
life. Thank you for teaching me to realize the moment at every show and surrender
to the flow. From the bliss of a subtle note to the peak of an adrenaline rush
experienced during a climaxing jam. Thank you for being the perfect soundtrack
to my life and for being associated with so many highlights and memorable occasions.
Thanks for showing me the country.
Honor and Respect,
Daniel Rudas
Dear Phish
Photo by Adam George |
The Gorge 1999... I made the drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco to pick
up a couple of folks that many of you know very well. We drove throughout the
night and witnessed a very rare lightening storm in the Bay Area. Once in Portland
(after the KVHW show at the Crystal Ballroom), I broke away from these fine
folks and headed onward towards George, Washington – making only one stop
at the Sea-Tac Airport to pick up a good friend. First view of the Gorge is
breathtaking!! Second view of the Gorge with Phish playing is mind blowing!!
Third view of the Gorge with Phish playing through my camera (which I snuck
in) is awe-inspiring!! Phish was a once in a lifetime experience that I will
cherish the rest of my life. Thank you, Phish, for the memories... those that
I've photographed and those that I've stored in the photograph of my mind! Now
I never have to worry about PTBM lottery ever again…thank you even more!!
Adam George
Trey, Page, Jon, and Mike,
I am writing on behalf of others, not myself. I am not a Phan, or a fan. However,
other people in my life are inclined to put "ph" in front of certain
words and may even have email addresses with some lyric to your song in it.
They are the ones that will be most affected by your decisions to move on. I
myself can respect the fact that you won't be coming to my town once a year
to play your music. It is after all, you who pays the bills and like my daddy
told me, "when you pay the bills, you can make the rules." But what
about my loved ones who will miss your caravan sweeping them up and taking them
away. What should they do? Where should they spend their money? I was thinking
maybe, another band? Or maybe running for office? How about nothing? What would
you do? I myself can't begin to understand what they are going through.
Photo by Matt Earhart :: Vegas 2003 |
You see, right now I am on a break, a hiatus, the same one that your fans were
on for a few years. My boys are coming back - so they said. So I have stability,
and confidence through patience. But the "Phans" are not so lucky.
What could I do? I could comfort them with words of compassion or simply tell
them to get over it. "Go find another band," I would say, "there
are others out there that need you." Or maybe I could invite them to try
out my favorite band and see if they like it? Some might! But most would feel
an emptiness, something lacking and anyways, they would have to wait months.
I don't know. I feel like I'm watching the grown man drown. "MOVE YOUR
ARMS, SWIM!" Sounds easy - I can do it, why can't he? I guess things
need to change, life demands it and sometimes good things will come from change.
Take Vida Blue and the Spam Allstars, that's damn good. Maybe that can manifest.
I am tired of 10,000 seat venues anyways. Up with the clubs and plush theaters,
intimate gatherings of the musically minded sharing a groove with good sound.
Bring on incredible collaborations of unlikely suspects and formations of single
tour bands. Go out and meet more Baobobs and Kottke's. Take time with your families.
You will be back. Oh yes, there is no way you could stay away from each other
forever. I tried it with my friends. We lasted a few years, some longer, but
we always came back, you will too. Don't worry about us, we will be fine. I've
got the next round and the "Phans" I know have enough stories to get
by til your next show. Thanks, by the way, from a non-"phan" but a
music fan.
See you soon,
Jeremy Jones
Dear Phish,
Photo by Tony Stack |
I was lucky enough to see Phish for the first time in March of 1992. I had
not listened to a note of your music before the show, but by the second song,
I was mesmerized. I knew that there was something special about the band already.
Throughout the long journey that you took us along on, you showed us that live
music can (and should) indeed be a participatory sport. Over the years, we felt
your music evoke nearly every human emotion - sometimes all in one night. They
also showed us how a band could be successful without sacrificing integrity
- a rare feat in this day and age. I'll always cherish the memories of the fellowship,
the adventures, and most importantly, the music. Of course, the music will remain
after you leave the stage for the last time. For that, I am grateful.
Sincerely,
Brent Fraim
"I'm leaving you a message,
I'm leaving you a trace.
I'm leaving thoughts for you
I hope that time will not erase"
--Walls of the Cave
Photo by Rob Foster |
It's hard to believe that after twenty-one years, its finally coming to an end.
While the music may stop, the memories will live on. The concert process itself
was utterly unforgettable: arriving at the show hours beforehand, hanging out
with old friends and making new ones. Standing in lines that seemed to have
no end in sight... and the show was still hours away. Scrambling for the best
possible seat in the house, meeting up with friends inside and then waiting.
Some idle chat, glancing at the watch every ten minutes (even though it won't
start for another couple hours). Some more waiting. "What time are they
gonna go on? What's the opener going to be? Any bust-outs tonight?"
Still more waiting, peppered with spats of boredom and irrational exuberance.
All of a sudden, the house music fades and the lights go down. Unadulterated
bliss ensues for the next half minute. The energy, tension and excitement is
palpable as thousands of people simultaneously jettison the sentence coming
out of their mouth and erupt in frenzy. High-fives, hugs, and all eyes on
the stage. Not even one note has been played, and I've already forgotten anything
that had been bothering me. For the next three hours, anything happening offstage
is interesting but irrelevant.
That is one feeling I will never experience after August, and that's what
I'll miss the most. The unwavering belief that anything is possible. Experiencing
group improvisation at it's finest: music that makes you think, dance and laugh
at the same time. Those brief, unspoken and yet profoundly meaningful exchange
of glances between you and an old friend during a ridiculous moment of musical
brilliance: "Can you *believe* this?!"
There is no other band that could ever again compel me to drive halfway across
the country to see a concert, and certainly never one that could make that illogical
plan seem so perfectly rational.
Thanks for changing the way I listen to music. Thanks for reminding me to appreciate
the little things. Thanks for reminding me that it's okay to laugh and have fun,
as long as you don't let it detract from the work in front of you. Thanks for
making me think that anything can happen given adequate allocation of effort
and patience. Thanks for conveying the beauty of living in the moment. Thanks
for always prioritizing the music ahead of everything else. Thanks for showing
me that good music is good music, and that genres are irrelevant. Thanks for
making my college years some of the most memorable times of my life. And thanks
for always making the long ride back home feel like a victory lap.
Nathan Rodriguez
Chris Kuroda :: Photo by Jay Blakesberg |
Dear Mike, Trey, Page, and Fish,
The first time that I ever heard Phish being played the thought that came to
head were "hokey," "childlike," and "strange."
Phish for me was an acquired taste similar to beer for now I love both. Although
I have not seen Phish since your return from hiatus, touring with the band encompassed
a large portion of a very important time in my life. The music and the band
aided in a maturity that is a portion of my collective identity now. People
that I met, emotions that I felt, and hardships that I overcame were all part
of my Phish experience. At first I thought that a Phish concert was somewhere
I went to forget about life for a while and as I look back I know now that is
somewhere I went to live life. It was one of the only places where I
could get what me and my best friend referred to as the "nowhere else on
earth" feeling. I have since got that feeling in other segments of my life,
but they always bring me back to a second set opening "2001" or a
closing "Halley's Comet". For this feeling and for this experience
I am forever grateful. Thanks Phish.
Scott Rosner
Dear Phish,
Photo by Susie Ochs ::Hampton Colliseum |
Thanks for showing us that a band can make it totally on their own terms, without
the support of the mainstream music industry. Thanks for making the largest
New Year's Eve 1999 show in the world feel totally intimate. Thanks for sacrificing
so much for your art over the past 21 years, and thanks for the recordings that
will keep us grooving for years to come. To paraphrase the late, great Douglas
Adams... So long and thanks for all the Phish.
Susie Ochs
Trey, Mike, Page, and Fish,
What is it about you four when your creative lifeforces come together as Phish?
For every person you have touched over the years, it must be something different.
For me it comes down to this:
Photo by Adam George |
Answer. That you are here... that life exists, and identity; that the powerful
play goes on and you may contribute a verse.
That's Uncle Walt talking. He speaks the truth. No doubt about it. But whereas
it may be easy to stand on a desk shouting "carpe diem," truly personifying
that mantra in everyday life can be somewhat challenging... even in a Robin Williams
movie. Nevertheless, Phish, to some extent, embodies this notion to an extremely
noble degree. To me, your true essence as a band is your unwavering desire to
push forward without the shackles of perceived constraints. It is about not
letting your life be ordinary, while, at the same time, having a general vision
of the direction you want to take the franchise--you and those for whom you
care--over the long-term.
When I go to shows, two things typically cross my mind. And I will always be
grateful for these two things. First, I'm generally a nicer, friendly person
at a Phish show than I am in everyday life. There's no harm in that. And second,
there's a lot that I can learn and use in my life by paying attention to what
is happening in the spaces between the notes you are playing on stage.
I wish you all the best of luck in whatever future pursuits you may embark upon.
In my book, each of you, individually and collectively, has certainly found
your own voice and contributed a verse or two. And along the way, you've played
a big part in helping me find mine.
Adam Gensler
Hey Phish,
Photo by Susan Weiand |
I was introduced to you in 1997 at the Gorge and immediately I fell in love
with the majesty, precision and spontaneity of your music. The joy I felt radiating
from the stage, through the crowd and back again replaced the angst I previously
felt at rock shows, being from the land of grunge. Dancing replaced moshing
and releasing my body to the flow replaced head-banging, although I have banged
my head to "Frankenstein" and "Carini" more than once. There
were kids from NY at the Gorge that summer, the first indication of the adventures
awaiting me on the road. Thanks for giving me the motivation to see the country.
Every trip made to see Phish always worked out – I always found my friends
and tickets, even at four in the morning in a sea of 80,000 at Big Cypress. Thanks
for connecting me to friends more valuable than gold, including the love of
my life at set-break in Vegas, 9/30/00. Most importantly, thank you for realizing
the party has to end. Perhaps more than most, I understand, I understand.
Forrest Reda
WE LOVE YOU PHISH! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!
Photo by Adam George
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